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  • Resolving the meaning to the universe, life and everything.
  • Establishing contact to mothership.
  • Opening control valves to antimatter nacelles.
  • Fastening seatbelts.
  • Preparing takeoff.
  • Distorting space-time continuum.
  • Moving satellites into position.
  • Resolving transporter buffer.
  • Downloading Satellite Terrain Data.
  • Launching escape pods.
  • Pressing random buttons.
  • Constructing additional pylons.
  • Recruiting additional robot hamster.
  • Summoning unneccessary dramatic encounters.
  • Charging Ozone Layer.
  • Destabilizing Economic Indicators.
  • Increasing Accuracy of RCI Simulators.
  • Lecturing Errant Subsystems.
  • Overconstraining Dirty Industry Calculations.
  • Removing Road Network Speed Bumps.
  • Routing Neural Network Infanstructure.
  • Dividing infinity by zero.
  • Decrementing Tectonic Plates.

You can also reach me at my email:

Unfortunately i’ve had quite some trouble with foreign bothersome marketeers, so if you want my phone number please use the alternate contact options first.

Additionally if you call from a hidden number, i’ll be polite enough to respect your privacy and not answer the call.

Spam/marketing/propaganda and other nuisance inquiries will also be ignored without response.

Please be patient when submitting this form, Your email will be sent through an SMTP relay to ensure deliverability, but only after being attacked by spam assasins and consulting with google that you are in fact a human.